a day in the life

Snow and the Bible

2012-01-21T23:08:00.000-08:00

For as the rain and snow come down from heaven

and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

so shall my word be that goes from my mouth;

it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose;

and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

-Isaiah 55:10-11

Take heart, people of the Northwest. As you drive and sled through that snow, as you strap on your boots and plow through it--remember that there is a Redeemer that cares about you and reminds you every winter about his love for you. He's written you a really long letter--he's begging that you read it.

Advent Day 18 - The Second Coming

2011-12-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

Jess:

Learning about advent has forever changed the way I view Christmas.
This season is full of so much hype, so much expectation, and I love it. I don't mean those in a bad way; I give myself over to it head over heels every year. I love the feeling of expectation, the candle light services that give me chills, the music, the mass chaos of people out shopping for last minute presents.
It's just that every year when it actually is Christmas day, I always can't help but feeling a little bit depressed. I push it away because, let's be honest, I'm too old to be feeling like that! It can't be because I didn't get what presents I wanted, or because we have to throw the tree away soon, or...?

Growing up, we always did an advent calendar, and lit candles on Sundays leading up to Christmas. I always ate those chocolates from the advent calendar and lit those candles thinking "Christmas is coming". The day.
Then I got older and wiser and would instead think "Jesus is coming". The baby.
This would leave me feeling like something was missing, because as much value as there was in remembering how he came as a child, we had a whole other holiday in the spring celebrating the reason we actually celebrate this baby. (It's Easter, guys).
Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas as a time to remember God's plan, God's love to the world by sending his son.
It's just that, until recently, I would fail to think about that it didn't end with Christmas. Because that same God with the same plan and love for the world 2000 years ago continues today, and I would forget about the part where he is sending him back to get us...
And this is something that makes that anticipation worth it.
In the years to come I will sing Christmas songs with a heart that is anxiously awaiting being able to put that baby Jesus in the manger in the nativity scene on Christmas Day, and just as much anxiously awaiting the Savior that baby grew up to be, whose promised return is what should cause that "thrill of hope" the same way Christmas does.

"Therefore, keep watch, for you do not know on what day your Lord will come..." Matthew 24:42

Jacob:

When I think about the second coming of Christ I am reminded that I don’t think about the second coming of Christ often enough. This is what advent is all about. When I read about the glory and suffering we will share with Christ it reminds me that God is more concerned with our holiness, not our happiness. He is more concerned with the invisible than the visible. If I could choose a few verses to capture what the second coming of Christ looks like it would be this:

“Creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God…and we ourselves groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved” – Romans 8:21-24

We are enslaved to corruption; we have blood on our hands. Christ is our only hope, and we eagerly await his coming because it means we get to experience true freedom from our flesh. As I write these words I’ve spent a day battling the flu and this passage especially rings loud and true today. May the good Lord redeem our bodies and souls, may we long for his revealing, and may we look forward with eager hope and be compelled to share this hope with our brothers who seek after the visible. Lord, sanctify us and fix our eyes upon you. “We know that for those who love you all things work together for good” – Romans 8:28.

Advent Day 17 - Humble Beginnings

2011-12-21T22:16:00.000-08:00

Micah 5:2

Jess:

From you Bethlehem, shall come a ruler,

"Whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days"

That line reads to me of ancient promise, breathed in every wind storm and in every rise of the sun. The very first sun that set on the newly created world, as Adam watched with Eve, spoke of it, the unlikely shepherd boy crowned king pointed to it, the prophets pleading for the hearts of their nation hinted at it.
A King, one of us yet so unlike us it saved us forever to believe in him, was coming.
It reads like a line from Narnia books, the "ancient and from of old"part.
Bethlehem is promised to bring forth a king, in all likely hood of that pitiful town bringing forth anything good.

It should cause us to wonder, to marvel, to completely give over to the mind blowing work of God the Father in this world to accomplish the task of recapturing hearts to himself.
It should remind us that God will use whoever and whatever to accomplish that same task today.

Because, let us not forget, Oh Bethlehem, Oh followers of Christ, that same ruler has another day coming also foretold, and like was promised from the ancient of days that same Ruler, that Great High Priest, that Savior of that World, is coming again.

Bethlehem and Nazareth: Humble beginnings

Jacob:

Once again, the Christmas story amazes me. Jesus was born in a feeding trough in a barn in an unpolished and lowly town. I’m not sure I can imagine many more humble entrances into the world by God himself than the picture that this nativity story paints. Bethlehem was the city where David was also born and anointed king by Samuel (hence “today in the city of David”). This is such a sweet foreshadowing, just like Aaron and the goats, as David is often called “the man after God’s own heart”. I love the history, how you can trace back and see that David and Jesus share the same heritage and birthplace.

The fact that Jesus also grew up in Nazareth is also interesting to me. I don’t know a lot about its history but from what I found Nazareth was never a very polished city either. When the disciple Nathanael is told that they found Jesus, who was the fulfillment of the Law of Moses and the prophets, he says “can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Nazareth was nothing but a small agricultural settlement and seemingly unimportant to the rest of the world.

But that’s the beauty of Jesus—he uses humility to change the world.

Advent Day 15 and 16 - Goats and Jesus

2011-12-20T20:21:00.000-08:00

Leviticus 16, Hebrews 4

Jess:

Jesus came to us as a man. He became one of us, lived among us, slept among us, worked and walked and talked among us. This overwhelms me when I look at the stage set in the old and new testament.

Leviticus. Man, why does that book bum us out so much? Every time we start a reading the-bible-in-a-year plan, we make it to Leviticus and say, “eh, maybe next year”.

When read in light of the New Testament, however, we get reminded, we get reawakened to the beauty of the Old Laws, in that they point directly to the New Hope that abolishes the Law in Jesus. Man, that’s beautiful.
So today when I read about the day of atonement in Leviticus 16, then read Hebrews 4 where it calls Jesus our great high priest, I get over my aversion to Leviticus. It paints the picture of what Christ has done for us. He has taken our sin.

He has lived what we live in, he has suffered what we have suffered, and he has overcome what we are powerless to overcome.He is able to sympathize with our suffering and weakness, because he has been there. We have to get this. This has to change the way we view ourselves because it affects the way we see Jesus if we don’t think he really gets it.

Once we get this truth, we can approach the throne of grace with confidence. We won’t hide, we won’t avoid reading our Bibles, we won’t let guilt make us not pray for a month until we come back to the presence of God; No, instead we will confess and rejoice in our weaknesses, because in our weaknesses, we are able to make much of our Father, who has a Son able to sympathize with what we are going through. He knows what he is talking about when he says “I am better than those things”. He knows from experience. Let’s test him in that and see that he is better.

Jacob:

What I get from these two separate passages is that there are two parts to the Gospel and two parts to Jesus.

The symbolism in Leviticus is amazing. Aaron represents Jesus to the Israelites, as he goes into the Holy Temple on their behalf (and his own) to present sacrificial, atoning sacrifices to God for their sins. I missed this story in Sunday School I think.

Aaron takes the first goat, places his hands on it (representing the transfer of sins) and then kills it, because the “wages of sin is death” and God’s wrath is poured out on the goat, taking the place of the people as an atonement. The second goat Aaron again lays his hands on, but then sends it away alive off into the wilderness, never to be seen again (representing sins being removed and God no longer remembering them). This had to be done every year for thousands of years; it’s all the Israelites knew. But then one day a boy was born and changed everything. Christmas! Yeah!

Jesus was this God-man that I’ve tried for years to figure out but have yet to completely understand. I think that’s the beauty of him. He blended the physical and spiritual like no one ever has, and the way he spoke confounded people (and still does). “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him” – John 6:56. Hey Jesus, does this mean literally or spiritually because either way it kind of freaks me out. The thing that my puny human mind can’t fathom is how Jesus was human and had human struggles. I also can’t understand how he stayed so humble despite being the Creator and Sustainer of life.

This is why I absolutely love this passage in Hebrews because it’s what separates us from Muslims, from Mormons, and from any other spiritual idea out there: Jesus was God—he saves us and redeems us; Jesus was human—he knows our trials because he has experienced it himself; and there is nothing you can do that will make him love you any more or any less. What he did on the cross marked the end of one era and the beginning of a new one. No longer are goats sacrificed, he is the sacrifice once and for all. On the cross he was our Mediator to the Father (Aaron), was killed as the atonement in our place (goat #1) and took away our sins, imparting his righteousness to us (goat #2). Aaron was a great priest but Jesus was The Great High Priest and we are now part of his royal priesthood. Amen.

Advent Day 14 - You Become What You Pursue

2011-12-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

2 Kings 17

Jacob:

The people of God are a easily distracted and fickle-hearted people. It’s evident from the very beginning, when Adam and Eve fell in love with creation instead of the Creator. Fast forward a few thousand years and Israel, the great nation that once held freedom and God’s mighty provision in its grasp, had fallen. Why and how could this have happened? “They went after false idols and became false…They followed the nations around them…and abandoned the commandments of the Lord their God.” (2 Kings 17:15-18).

You become what you pursue. If you chase after things of the world you will become worldly. The Bible says that anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God (James 4:4).

You become what you follow. Intentionally or not. Our hearts are flighty, we are constantly bombarded with distraction, and we justify and belittle our mistakes all day long. We, like the Israelites, follow anything else besides the true King. We put our trust and joy and worth and identity in material possessions and financial security and careers and prosperity and comfort.

Let us learn from the past and chase after Jesus, after godliness, knowing that we become what we pursue. Let us leave the false promises of the world and the enemy behind.

Jess:

The Bible speaks plainly about most things. Yet we are very good about still trying to make sense of them in a way that makes sense to us. There is a problem in that, though, when we remember how much MORE God is than us. More big, more wise, more knowing, more loving, more holy. Not just a little bit more, but its-like-not-even-a-contest-more.

I don't know about what God your/our church is preaching our what God you or I are believing in, but the one I read about in the Bible is not messing around. He desires that all nations and all peoples know him and worship him and are in a right, life giving relationship with him, and when people get in the way of that or openly defy that, there are consequences. Because this isn't a joke, this is a matter of life and death. This is what comes to mind as I read about Israel.

They followed worthless idols and they themselves became worthless.
That is pretty plain language. How can anything outside of the only Worth in life bring worth? So why are we confused, hurt, angry, judgmental or devastated when we chase after things other than Christ that bring confusion, hurts, anger, judgement, and devastation? It's not that God is heartless, but rather that "He has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (2nd Peter 1:3).
The problem is still sin. He has given us everything we need for life and godliness, yet we still choose the darkness, we are more comfortable there however much it slowly kills us, steals our joy.

This should cause all the more praise in us this Christmas season. Praise that God made a way for us so lost in sin that we had become worthless, like the things we chase. Praise God that he sent his son to save us from our sin. Not just our sins, like that one time you stole or lied about it, but our deep inherent, in our bones SIN that leads to death. Praise Jesus that he has made a way for us by coming down and giving us hope and life through his life and death and resurrection. I pray that we get this. I pray that we would learn to chase the only thing worth chasing this season.

Advent Day 13 - Trust Me, I'm God

2011-12-17T12:07:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:5-25, 57-80

Jess:

The plan of God to send his son to the world was an intricate one. That has been a theme I've been struck by during this advent season of studying and reading. God is carrying out his plan for the world's salvation, and there are many supporting roles that need to be played out. One of those supporting roles is Zechariah, the guy who would be the father of John the Baptist. The guy who brings into the world a man who would prepare the way of the Lord in the hearts of Israel, turn their hearts back to him.

Zechariah responds in doubt to the news of his promised son, saying "Are you sure?". This guy is looking an angel in the face, this guy who works for the Lord, who should get it more than all the others, and this guy is doubting...

I believe that silencing him is one of the coolest acts of God's mercy, if you really think about it. I don't think its petty, or that God is just like "shut up" because he doubted. I don't think it's punishment.

Because sometimes we let ourselves get in the way of God's movement. I think that God graciously took Zechariah out of his own way, silenced him long enough for what was happening to sink in. Basically, he said "sit back and watch" what I am doing around you, with you , in spite of you. I love that. God is so much more than that Kill-Joy- Punisher so many make him out to be. He silences us, sidelines us, saves us from ourselves so that we can watch and give Him the glory.. that is what it's all about.

I love that once able to talk, all Zechariah can do is start singing about God's plan, God's mercy, how incredible it is to be used by him. The time of silence has allowed him to get it. Let's spend some time in silence today, sitting back and looking for all God is doing around us and in us, despite ourselves, to bring glory to himself. Let's learn to embrace silence a little this Christmas season and give all the glory to God.

Jacob:

I'm intrigued at how God uses women who shouldn't or couldn't have children as one of the bases of our faith. God promised Abraham and Sarah they would father many generations and populate the earth like all the sand on every shore, at a time when their bodies wouldn't allow them to have children. Mary and Joseph were still not married and socially couldn't have a child at the time when God promised a son. And the lesser known story of a miraculous birth through Zechariah and Elizabeth, came at a time when the people of God were desperate for hope and change. Isaac, John the Baptist, and Jesus were all born improbably to the world through faithful parents.

The common theme I've studied through each of these stories is the constant struggle between frustration and joy, doubt and faithfulness, unbelief and belief. Every time God promises his people a "miracle son" their first reaction is "really? have you seen our situation?" God says "trust me, I'm God" and reassures them that since he created their very bodies and situations, he wasn't unable to change them. Each story contains miraculous surprise followed by grateful songs of praise to the Lord. I personally love the reactions in each of these stories because it allows me to relate and place myself mentally in their position. Really God, you want me to stay in Pullman? There's nothing for me here. Oh wait...

This Christmas may we remember that God does things sometimes that we can't understand, uses improbable situations to redeem us, and reassures us that there is no Plan B. His way is the holy way. We, along with Zechariah and Elizabeth, get the joy of experiencing submission to God's will as he weaves his story into our lives. Our God is the same God as Isaac, John the Baptist, and Jesus. We get to be a part of the same history and family.

Advent Day 12 - Christmas Songs for the Soul

2011-12-16T17:11:00.000-08:00

Jacob:

I have a few favorite Christmas songs. They invoke a sense of nostalgia and reminiscence and happiness as I think about drinking coffee watching the snow fall, bundled up inside with the people who I love and share my name with.

But then there are other songs that cause me to stop and think deeply about the love of Christ and what this day means. These are two of those songs. May we remember that we are washed as white as the snow we see falling.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead. -1 Peter 1:3

Let's celebrate the day he was born to die so that one day we could pray for him to save our lives.

Jess:

I love all sorts of things about Christmas. Everything, actually. Ask my new husband, who is being drug into the world of listening to Christmas music earlier than is socially acceptable, spending nights in the freezing cold hanging lights, and making him tell me the story behind each and every ornament from his family. I love it.

But I love it the most when it is about Jesus. All those other things are petty compared to the mind-blowing reality that God sent us Jesus to live among us, to sympathize with humanity, to save humanity from the canyon of sin and death that we had created between us and his father. What a position. Jesus had to have lived his whole life with incredible intention, incredible purpose. I wonder, like the Relient K song, if he knew from the second he was born why he was on this earth? I listen to these songs and am overwhelmed by what Jesus did for us, how incredible and loving God's plan was all along to save us from ourselves. I would way rather sing about that than jingle bells. So listen to these with us and remember, cliche's aside, really what it is we are celebrating. Its not presents, its not lights, its not snow; it's new life, fulfilled promise. Let us be filled with joy as we sing the songs of Christmas this season.

Advent Day 11- Enough Said

2011-12-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

The Son of God became a man to

enable men to become the sons of God.

-C.S.Lewis
(Mere Christianity)
It's hard to expound on that awesome, mind-blowing truth. So we are going to take a night off and think about this. We encourage you to do the same.
Goodnight, thanks for reading :)
Love,
Jess and Jacob

Advent Day 10 - My Son is God - The Story of Joseph

2011-12-14T21:35:00.000-08:00

Matthew 1

Jacob:

As a newly married guy I find myself constantly looking for ways to learn from biblical men, men of God who had integrity and who led their families and ministries well. Joseph, Jesus’ earthly father, is highly underrated and understudied in my mind. Think about what this man had to endure: being entrusted a wife and sons, but more importantly, the Son of God. I think Joseph was just a quiet, regular joe, but he was also clearly man of character and truth if Jesus was to learn from him as a father.

Being a father, I’ve been told, means experiencing both burden and joy in your children—can you imagine the level that Joseph experienced? Raising and training the Son of God? What an immense blessing and curse, I can’t imagine a dad in the world who was more proud of his son but who also lost as much sleep as Joseph must have done.

I love thinking about Joseph and Jesus hanging out in the wood shop, Joseph showing his boy how to whittle and cut and carve. I wonder if Jesus picked up on Joseph's delivery of speech or jokes, what mannerisms and traits he inherited. I wonder about the things Jesus and his dad talked about—who was the one teaching who? How did Joseph not show partiality towards Jesus amongst his other sons? How did he deal with a kid who didn’t need to be whipped or swatted? It blows my mind thinking about how sanctifying this must have been. Joseph had a very special connection with God—he was the only man who has ever lived who could also say, “this is my son, with him I am well pleased”.

Jess:

God sent his Son among scandal. Right away he was shaking up people’s worldviews, right away he sets the stage with: pregnant teenager, broken engagement on the brink, upright man who’s reputation is on the line whether he goes through and marries Mary or not. Right away he makes people choose between themselves and Himself.

And Joseph chooses, against all odds, to undertake the life of being husband to his pregnant out of wed-lock wife and father to someone else’s son who turned out to be a rebel, a wanderer, a riot-causer, a table turner, and a friend of thieves, prostitutes and lepers. Somehow, God was gracious to him and allowed his eyes to be opened to the bigger picture. Because that’s hard. We might read this story and say “its different, it was Jesus”. The truth is it probably wasn’t. I bet it was tough being Jesus’ earthly dad. He knew who his real dad was, and those are some big shoes to fill. It’s tough because here’s the deal, people are insecure, and most times their insecurities drive them. Somehow, Joseph learned how to humble himself in the moment he listened to the angel and stayed with Mary, but it didn’t end there. Joseph had to learn to humble himself daily as he led and loved a son that turned all father-son relationships on its head. How do you teach someone who created the world? I want to be more like Joseph, to be more humble. To know right off the bat that you have nothing outside of Jesus to offer, and be so content with that.

Advent Day 9 - The Magic Men

2011-12-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

Matthew 2

Jess:

We don’t get much background story about the magi. In all the dramatizations of Christmas, they are mystical, mysterious figures who come from the other side of the world, following a star to see the birth of a promised King. I read this and I can’t help but think about how our God is…. (we don’t have a word to try and say what I am trying to say.) To say “Big” is too small. “Overarching” doesn’t express it. Words fall flat as we look at the God who is orchestrating the birth of his son, the one promised for generations to restore us into a right relationship with Himself. Every detail designed just so, designed with plans upon plans in each small fragment.

These men came from the East, we are not told where. I read this story and I can’t help but think about how good God is at drawing people, ALL people, to himself. These guys weren’t Jews, they hadn’t grown up necessarily awaiting a Savior for their nation. Yet God somehow involves more nations than his chosen, showing his compassion to all men, letting them take word to their countries that a Savior of the world has come. God reveals himself to the hearts of men and women all over the world. For all my new and old friends who are Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim, Athiests, Agnostics, sometimes I give into the sin of despair. Anything I say hasn’t worked to fully convey the depths of knowing Christ. They are searching for worth in everything but the One worth knowing. And it breaks my heart. But I believe in this God, the God who has a cosmic plan, who can overcome cultural boundaries and hindrances to make himself known. And just like the wisemen were drawn and bowed to the King, I pray that my friends can one day join us there. Because I believe in a God who does just that, for the sake of his great name.

Jacob:

My ESV Study Bible says this about the wise men: “It is doubtful that these quasi-pagan religious men understood Jesus’ divine nature, but their actions were unknowingly appropriate and wonderfully foreshadowed the worship by all the Gentile nations.”

There is something really sweet about these kings laying down their crowns to the King. They heard about Jesus but their curiosity couldn’t contain them and they probably travelled over 500 miles to come see for themselves. They wanted to know and experience Jesus, not just to hear stories about him. It’s clear from this story that these guys were a big deal, because King Herod chose them out of the entire nation to scope out the situation.

When the magi came and experienced Jesus in the flesh, they disregarded everything Herod had told them about informing him about Jesus’ whereabouts, directly and instantly putting a death warrant on their own heads for rejecting the king’s orders. The magi, certainly not men of God previously, experienced Jesus and were changed so deeply that they were willing to die for a baby boy.

This has to be the same for us. Scholastically knowing Jesus is valuable but experientially knowing Jesus changes your life. No doubt these men returned home as missionaries with glowing hearts and stories of a Savior, and brought the good news to their families and cities.

May we experience Jesus so radically we lay our crowns and careers and lives down for him.

Advent Day 8 – When Paul Walks into Town

2011-12-12T23:16:00.000-08:00

Acts 16:1-4, 1 Timothy 1:12-17

Jacob:

Timothy was a guy that I admire. When Paul walked into town, he was looking for a guy who knew the Lord well, and Timothy was his man. Paul needed him to come along on his journey but he first had to circumcise Timothy and warn him about the suffering he was about to face if he should decide to join. Timothy obviously chose to follow Paul into the mission field, into a life of preaching and teaching about the life of Jesus. For this, Timothy is someone that I’ve studied and intently desired to learn from.

The story of Timothy mirrors the story of the people of Israel, in my mind. When Paul walked into Timothy’s life, he was ready. Years of studying scripture and seeking God earnestly shaped Timothy into a man ready to do the work of his Father.

When Christ was born the people were either ready for him because they had been seeking him since the beginning of history, or they were not ready and rejected him because he didn’t fit their picture of a Messiah Savior.

My prayer is that I, that we, the people of God, would ready ourselves in truth and prayer, rooted in the Gospel, so that when “Paul walks into town” or “Christ is born” our eyes will see, our feet will move, and we are prepared to do the will of our Father when he calls us.

Jess:

There is a distinction between waiting and preparation. There are times for both. Sometimes they go hand in hand, other times you have to choose. To be used by God , to fully give your life to Him and say “Let’s do this, I am following you into the unknown”, the next things to follow can be tough. Changes need to be made. Sometimes God takes you through seasons where he asks you to wait on him. Sometimes when every earthly plan you make or are trying to pursue just somehow doesn’t work out and these seasons you learn, like, REALLY learn, that only God is in control. We have to learn that. We have to get it to be used by God, and this comes from seasons that involve waiting on him. Think about Israel waiting for a Messiah. That was hundreds and hundreds of years of waiting on the Lord, trusting that he would save them. And in the large scheme of things, we are waiting on him still, to return, to bring glory to himself in every nation and tongue. Some day…

Until then…what do we do? Sit on the couch? Look out the window? Play Angry Birds to kill the time? What if Timothy had been on the couch playing Angry Birds when Paul walked into town, waiting for something to happen. Neither Paul nor God probably would have struck him down, but just think about it. He would have missed out, he would have missed the thing he was created for, and would not have had the hand in history of spreading the gospel that he did. Instead, whatever he was doing in the meantime made it so that once Paul got into town, Timothy was immediately recommended, immediately sought out, and his heart and life were in a place where he immediately said “let’s go, let’s do this” and left everything. So he had been investing in life there, was found worthy by his peers, but not so much so that his identity was wrapped up in it – he was able to drop everything involved in that “waiting/preparing” period for the glory of God.

Advent means waiting with expectation. With prepared hearts. Let’s do that.

Advent Day 7 - Joy to the World

2011-12-11T15:32:00.000-08:00

According to the traditional Advent calendar, this third Sunday represents joy. So Jacob and I each chose a verse about joy to write about. Be blessed and enJOY :)

Jess:

“that nothing will rob you of your joy” John 16:22

Around this Christmas season, it’s so easy to get confused about what true joy is. Because you’re supposed to feel it for 25 days straight, right? There is pressure to feel and spread joy. From the carols to the movies to the decorations to the presents, there is a “show” of joy for 25 days straight that actually kind of wears me out. Yesterday I felt anxious because I wasn’t “feeling” the Christmas spirit (I have to pack it in each year, you know? It only comes once a year! SO much pressure!) So I had to bake and put on some Christmas music and pretend there was snow outside. This is craziness. That can’t be true joy.

Lately it has been hard to feel joy. I get up and its dark, and cold, there is no snow, I am adjusting to a new phase of life and trusting that God has a plan, it feels like everything in our house is broken or breaking, and it’s easy to let those things rob me of my joy. The world is broken and relationships are broken and the only cure is the forgiveness and love of Jesus Christ. So if your “joy” is in anything other than him, it is only a matter of time before it will be taken from you. It was only a temporary fix to an eternal problem.

I hope this post speaks to the reality that no life situation completes your joy. As a married woman for 1.5 months, I have learned that Jacob does not complete my joy; having a husband does not protect my joy from being robbed by life. The only difference now is I have someone to hold me accountable, encourage me day in and out to find my joy in the Lord and what he’s done for us, encourage him to do the same, and share that joy with each other and others. That is the only true joy. Even still it’s a daily choice, this joy in Christ. So this is for those of us who have had to fight to find this “joy” to sing to the world about this Christmas season. Don’t fake it, don’t sing about joy you don’t have. It’s in Christ, and Christ alone.

So, what’s been robbing you of that joy this holiday season?

Jacob:

Isaiah 12

Something happened last night that’s hard to explain. I walked into a Christmas party full of over 100 students, American and international, and it wouldn’t surprise me if this evening changed my life forever. There were people from all over the world—China, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Oman, and Lebanon to name a few. We sang Christmas carols, but I soon found myself weeping on the inside at the beauty and brokenness in the room and couldn’t utter the words. It was the most glorious music I’ve ever heard, listening to Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, and Christians singing about the birth of our Lord. The Gospel was spoken and heard for the first time by some, and I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the Spirit in that moment.

I didn’t know the words to the second verse of Silent Night (who does?) so I asked the guy next to me if I could look at his sheet with him. Peyman and I instantly became friends. I asked him if he knew what any of the songs meant—“I have no idea”. We talked about Jesus and Islam, baseball and Iranian shish-ka-bobs (his favorite food from back home). We laughed at how ridiculous white elephant gift exchanges are, we bonded over the loves of our lives and how our women make us strive to be better men. We made plans to hang out and drink coffee or beer, both of which we both love.

I don’t know a more experiential joy other than last night except for my wedding day. The aura of the room was magical and you could feel the Spirit of the Lord moving. I seriously think God is doing something amazing in our midst and I have such immense joy to get to be a part of it.

“Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be known in all the earth” (Isaiah 12:5).

Lord, let this be known in Peyman’s heart.

Advent Day 6 - O Holy Night, O Holy History

2011-12-10T12:43:00.000-08:00

O Holy Night

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Jacob:

When Mariah Carey, Josh Groban, Kelly Clarkson, and the Glee Cast sing and record this song I pray that just for a second they would listen to their own words. I hope that when they hear their own voices on the radio preaching the Gospel they would be changed by it themselves.

This song is beautifully deep and raw, it’s not talking about candy canes and mistletoe—it’s crying out in depravity and rejoicing jubilantly in the hope of Christ. We were dead in our sin, pining and wasting away, until he was born. The Savior Messiah, whom the Israelites had been waiting for thousands of years to see, had finally arrived. We no longer have to live in darkness, oppression, and bondage. Our God has “delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into kingdom of his beloved Son” (Col. 1:13).

Lift your eyes, a new morn is here. Let the weary world rejoice and praise his holy name forever.

Jess:

I love the line about the weary world rejoicing, and it is always the thing that sticks out to me as I sing. The weary world before Jesus came. Today as I sat and reflected I felt compelled to research those “400 Years of Silence” between the Old and New Testament.

It is like a play that has closed its first act in Malachi and the curtain opens to a completely new land, new rule in the opening scenes of Matthew. How weary were those chosen people of Israel by the time Matthew started. The Old Testament ends in woe and prophecy of desolation, which, although not documented in the Bible, is recorded in history as Israel is taken captive and goes from one evil captor to the next. The prophets are silent, Israel is without a home, their priests are removed and the spot of priesthood over Israel is sold to the highest bidder.

The article I read about the history of Israel after the Old Testament into the New Testament said this about the state of the world right before Jesus came:

…”the pagan empires around had been deteriorating and disintegrating. Their religions had fallen upon evil days. The people were sick of the polytheism and emptiness of their pagan faiths. The Jews had gone through times of pressure and had failed in their efforts to re-establish themselves, and had given up all hope. There was a growing air of expectancy that the only hope they had left was the coming at last of the promised Messiah. In the East, the oriental empires had come to the place where the wisdom and knowledge of the past had disintegrated and they too were looking for something. When the moment came when the star arose over Bethlehem, the wise men of the East who were looking for an answer to their problems saw it immediately and came out to seek the One it pointed to. Thus, "when the time had fully come, God sent forth his Son."

It is amazing how God utilizes history to work out his purposes. Though we are living in the days that might be termed "the silence of God," when for almost 2,000 years there has been no inspired voice from God, we must look back -- even as they did during those 400 silent years -- upon the inspired record and realize that God has already said all that needs to be said, through the Old and New Testaments. God's purposes have not ended, for sure. He is working them out as fully now as he did in those days. Just as the world had come to a place of hopelessness then, and the One who would fulfill all their hopes came into their midst, so the world again is facing a time when despair is spreading widely across the earth. Hopelessness is rampant everywhere and in this time God is moving to bring to fulfillment all the prophetic words concerning the coming of his Son again into the world to establish his kingdom. How long? How close? Who knows? But what God has done in history, he will do again as we approach the end of "the silence of God."

The rest of that article can be found here if you are interested in reading more about the history that set the stage for Jesus’ birth:

http://www.templemount.org/0240.html

Advent Day 5 - Mary's Song

2011-12-10T00:43:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:46-55

Jacob:

I wonder what it must have been like in that moment, when Mary felt the gravity of knowing that humanity's Savior currently lived inside of her. I love how Mary praises God for who he is and how he makes all things right. He justifies the fearful, he defends the weak, he feeds the hungry, he uplifts the lowly and humble. Above all, he saves the lost and adopts the orphans. Mary’s wonder and awe for the Lord is inspiring—Lord why me? Why did you pick me, to mother your Son? I’m not worthy but I’m grateful and humble.

Oh how the enemy must have haunted and tempted and attacked Mary while she was pregnant. I admire her courage, her humility, and her incredible passion for her Heavenly Father. It’s the desire of my heart to desire God the way Mary did.

Jess:

Mary’s song is an old song sung in a new way. It echoes every psalm, every prophecy written about longing for deliverance, for hope, for the Messiah.

Yet she speaks these words anew as she maybe begins to grasp the whole story. I wonder how overwhelmed, how in awe she felt. She recites those ancient passages with the new revelation of a baby, a peace child, the son of God that SHE has been asked to bring into the world. The Old Testament prophecy clashing with the very real news that she is carrying the savior of the world.

This is more than a pretty verse. I bet Mary shouted it, or maybe had to sit down as she said these words, seeing God’s plan of redemption from day one, echoing those old prophets who longed for the very day she was about to see: a Savior born to take away the sins of the world. God has remained faithful to his people.

Advent Day 4 - Solomon-The Wise Man

2011-12-08T21:52:00.000-08:00

1 Kings 4:20-34, 11:1-13

Jacob:

Solomon had it all: internationally renowned fame, power, wealth, and women. Above all, God himself said that Solomon had understanding “beyond measure” and was wiser than anyone in history (1 Kings 4:29). His house was made of gold and he blew his nose with hundred dollar bills. Not just Solomon but every single person in his kingdom “lacked nothing”. There was absolutely no earthly treasure or pleasure that Solomon could not attain.

I think all of that prosperity went straight to Solomon’s heart. He went against the will of God by taking foreign wives. And he didn’t just lightly walk away from God’s presence—he took 1,000 women and built altars for their pagan gods. No matter what Solomon gained he always felt the need to gain more, and it’s obvious that he tried to fill the void in his lustful soul with women.

I don’t think our generation is so different from Solomon, trying to fulfill ourselves with money, cars, careers, sex and relationships. Trying to numb our realities with alcohol, trying to consume anything that might take away that empty feeling. The truth is, the hole inside each one of us is infinite and will never be filled. Thanks be to God our Father, and his Gospel through his Son Jesus Christ, who sanctifies and satisfies us through his Spirit.

Sanctify, satisfy, and save us, Lord. May we wait patiently and intently for you, Jesus.

Jess:

I love being on campus early in the morning. The fog still hovering around the walkway lights, giving it an eerie, other-worldly glow. I love walking through the buildings, hearing my shoes clank on the empty silent hallways that in 4 hours will be filled with students clamoring for grades, for success, for fulfillment, for knowledge.

As I look out on the campus, the sun still rising, there is such a peace that I wish would stay. I wish that the students who are about to start the day, head to campus, fight for attention and worth, would know the peace that I am seeing, feeling, knowing. I can’t help but think of this as I read about Solomon. A man of great wealth and wisdom. I think about him as I sit on the campus of the top 1% of the world’s wealthy, elite, and educated.

What blessing, what knowledge, what opportunity he had. Yet even he turned to the flesh. He tried to please his thousands of wives of other faiths so much that he built shrines to their idols, defying the very God who told him he would grant anything he asked of him.

Solomon shows that all the knowledge in the world doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t make you content. I wonder why he felt the need for so many wives. Was he insecure, the most knowledgeable man in the world? And you, WSU, why do you seek your worth in all things but the one that satisfies? I know how empty you still feel.

I go through this advent season asking for true knowledge, the knowledge of the Holy.

And asking that for those people who crowd those campus walkways, classrooms and hallways.

May we know true knowledge.

May we know true peace.

Advent Day 3 - Death and Life in Christ(mas)

2011-12-07T20:30:00.000-08:00

Romans 5:12-18

Jacob:

When the physical and spiritual meet it usually blows my mind in such a beautiful way. So, pretty much anytime I think about Jesus really intently it blows my mind. One of the great complexities of the universe to me is how Jesus was both God and man, he was earthly and heavenly at the same time. The other is the fact that we, as lovers of Christ, share this same revelation only reversed: we have bodies wasting away by the physical world but our souls are being renewed by the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in us, making us more heavenly, more Christlike.

We are born with Adam’s scars of sin—they will be with us til we die. When we are reborn into God’s heavenly kingdom we begin to receive the “marks of Christ” (Galatians 6:17). This relationship between our depravity and Christ’s sufficiency, our death through Adam but life through Christ, is the physical and spiritual air in my lungs.

Advent is about waiting for and seeking Christ—may we do just that, may we live in him and leave our old life in Adam behind.

Just as we have borne image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven. –1 Corin. 15:49

Jess:

At first glance, there’s not a whole lot Christmas-y about this comparison between Christ and Adam. I love it because it reads like a well thought out story; a narrative weaving through thousands of years, an epic saga with redemption as the focal point.

It brings in the first man created, from the dawn of earth as we know it. The man who went the way all men would, he just happened to go first. This man followed sin and that lead to death. The story is redeemed by a baby who becomes a man, in the same form as Adam, yet not the same mold. He is perfect, blameless, without sin. He redeems the story by coming to earth.

Jesus’ birth brought death to the old patterns, old customs, old sin nature.

Jesus’ death brings life, hope and restoration to lives once helpless, hopeless and shattered.

This is why, when I think of Christmas, of the birth of Christ, I think of his life-bringing death, burial and resurrection.

Advent Day 2: Isaiah 53- By His Wounds We are Healed

2011-12-06T12:09:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 53

Jacob:

Today as I sit writing, looking at the sunrise, I can’t help but wonder how many special mornings Jesus had with his Father as a young boy, or maybe as a 24 year-old man like myself. We don’t know a lot about Jesus in his earlier years but we do know that he was preparing himself for something great. So when time came to endure suffering, ridicule, grief, affliction, and excruciating pain he was ready for it—this was his purpose—to bear in his body the sins of the very people who nailed him to the cross. He gave his life so that we might also lose ours for his name but in turn gain new life.

This passage begs of you and me two questions: how is this act, this Jesus, this Gospel changing us today? If we, as followers of Christ, are called to suffer alongside with him so that one day we will also share in his glory, what are we doing to prepare for the greater work that is to come?

Jess:

“The punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds, we are healed”

So many of us, Christians and non-Christians alike, walk around carrying things. Hurts, fears, insecurities, anxieties- wounds that cripple or at the very least hinder us from living this life the way God intended. These verses tell me that all those things that would love to keep us burdened, unmoving, hiding- have already been borne by the only one able to defeat them. Our hurts and fears have already been placed on his shoulders as he carried the cross up the hill to die for them, for us, to DEFEAT them. So why do we still carry them around? He was brought our punishment, and we get his PEACE in its place. He was wounded, and through that act, we are eternally healed. If you are burdened today, if you are wounded today, place those down for his healing and peace. Praise God that he gave us his son. Praise Jesus that he died so that WE MAY LIVE. Not just struggle through, but really live. By his wounds, we are healed. Amen

20 Days of Advent

2011-12-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

We realize we're a little late in the game but we still wanted to use this season to study and explore Advent because neither of us had a clear idea of what it meant. So we are taking the next 20 days to pour out our thoughts and prayers here on this screen, eagerly studying and awaiting and seeking our King. Each day we will write about a common theme, displaying both our vantage points. This will consist mostly with scripture but also with song lyrics, pictures, or anything else in the world around us that breaks our hearts or causes us to draw near and acknowledge Christ for who he is: our greatest and only hope. In marriage, in careers, in life. We hope these words find you well and we pray they encourage you as Christmas approaches. Grace and peace to you, friends.

-Jacob and Jess

Day 1: Isaiah 9:1-7

Jacob:

I could write novels on just the second verse of this passage: “those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined”. It’s hard to encapture the flurry of thoughts and images that this verse unearths in my mind. Images of who I used to be, more specifically where I used to “dwell”. Such darkness makes me shudder sometimes and comes back to haunt me. But thank God for the rest of this passage. There is hope and light and life in a child, born to an undeserving people and world. Christ, God humbled to live amongst men, was born to bring counsel, mighty power, peace, and saving grace to those fortunate enough come to a knowledge of the truth. Of his kingdom there will be no end. May it be so.

Jess:

This weekend we watched a movie called “Life in a Day”. You haven’t seen it? Watch it. It absolutely mesmerizes me and breaks my heart. In it you watch people waking up, brushing teeth, working, living life. It gave me a glimpse of what God might see when he looks at humanity. I couldn’t look away, watching hundreds of lives being lived out all over the world, so many without hope. (http://www.youtube.com/user/lifeinaday)

Tonight we read Isaiah 9. Read it. So much hope, so much truth. It tells of a wayward and self seeking people who are desperately unlovable yet desperately loved. It tells of a Savior who is coming to set them free from darkness and oppression, who offers light in places of great darkness. In this season, may your hope of life and of glory be renewed.

In this season, may those around you who are walking in darkness be awakened by the light that has dawned.

reminisce–(verb) to recollect and tell of past experiences

2011-03-24T23:19:00.000-07:00

This dude was crazy.

For some reason he looked up to me, probably because it’s all he knew, growing up watching me do ridiculous things. I don’t know if he learned much from me, if anything I hope he witnessed my mistakes and went in a different direction as a result. I didn’t demonstrate much brain activity by jumping down a flight of 16 stairs routinely until I grew too tall and smashed my face, or eating pavement when attempting to get towed behind a truck on a skateboard, or being allured by the party scene in college, or always looking to see what I could get away with.

We hung out all the time and the times were good. We played kick the can ‘til dark, bleached our hair, drowned crane flies, destroyed flower beds playing backyard baseball, had a cop pull a gun on us, made our own personal basketball cards, stuck kool aid caps on our noses, had pine cone fights every single day after church (I still feel bad for nailing Will Carter in the face with a green one), and competed in cribbage and Slugfest and ping pong and pretty much everything else in life.

I really miss the days of old—this guy knows me better than most. He knows who Crazy Chris is, and how I used to make him “madder than a hornet”. I’ve always been impressed with how he handled my antics. But what I’ve always been most impressed with is his maturity and faith.

When he was maybe 7 he brought all the money he possessed, mostly change, in a large zip-lock bag and dropped it in the offering plate. I sat next to him dumbfounded.

Years later I witnessed him get baptized in an outdoor daycare pool. I stood there dry and dumbfounded.

Years later I heard he was fasting, praying for the world’s hunger, and sleeping on the floor for Lent. I didn’t get it.

Years later he told me he was leading a Bible study on his dorm floor.

We’re both in our twenties now. I can hardly take it in. The years have flown by, but the memories are burned in my head and heart. Though I'm older I think I’ve learned more from him than he has me.

Evan, my only brother, my friend, I miss and love you man. I look forward for the years and memories to come.

gone country. not really.

2011-03-06T22:48:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I got to tag along to Nashville with my illustionist/magician/baller friend Drew. I really wanted to meet some people with thick accents that had funny phrases they'd say but the most abnormal thing I heard was "supper". That's because Nashville is a city that hardly anybody grows up in but rather move there for the music/art industry. Nashville didn't exactly dazzle my eyes but it made my tongue do a little dance as I got to try tons of new food. It was a sweet weekend, and Nashville was my first South experience, which included these as well:

-tornado. we landed (avoiding the storm) and drove home through torrential downpouring of the rain and crazy winds

-a dirty, authentic, greasygrimy country restaurant known as a "meat and three". your choice of chicken or beef with three vegetable sides. healthy right?

-no. nothing healthy about turnip greens fried in bacon grease, fried okra, fried pickles, or mashed potatoes out of a box smothered in gravy

-grits. i actually quite enjoyed. i won't lie to you.

-real sweet tea. syrupy goodness, i could get hooked on it.

-coconut meringue pie about 5 inches high. i took a coma afterwards.

-chick-fil-a. How can something be so disgusting and delicious at the same time?

-pancake house. they had like 20 different pancakes you could order. my choice? bacon, cheese, and green peppers.

-cici's. frozen yogurt chain with 30 different toppings. bombdeezy.

there you have it. and i made it in and out of the country music capital of the world still hating country music but respecting the ability to eat that kind of food all the time. It's not for the weak-stomached.

crazy people

2011-01-31T22:46:00.000-08:00

"I've got a fetish for sitting on the aisle seat. Is there coffee to be had here?

-Yeah, it's in the side room. Not bad either.

Thanks, name's Tom.

-Jacob."

Tom and I instantly became friends, as it was his first time at church and it was my second time (I was hanging out in the back row before playing with Resonate's worship band for our local sister church).

Right off the bat, you could tell that Tom had been through some hard knocks. The lines on his face shouldn't have been there until many years down the road. Tom was someone that you could only hope to meet. You've probably met him, I mean, someone like him. Someone who has thousands of stories to tell, someone who just can't help but tell you about the last 50 years of their life. Tom began spilling everything right then and there before the service. I just sat and listened.

It was almost too ridiculous to be true. But then again, Tom seemed crazy enough that I believed him.

Tom was a druggie hippie in the '60s, was a killer bass player in a garage band, and a divorced widower who lost custody of his three children. He was bipolar, brash, eccentric, and didn't know church etiquette.

But you know what else my new friend Tom was? Sober for 20 years, a local business owner, and redeemed follower of Christ. You know who Tom reminded me of? Jesus.

Some of the stories and commandments that Jesus told are just ridiculous, right? Like some stuff he said you're like, c'mon man. For real? Yet Jesus and his unfathomable, unfailing love are just crazy enough that I believe him and embrace him. I absolutely believe him, all the stories he told, all his commands, everything--I'm headfirst all in.

Our band finished the set of songs and I sat back down next to Tom.

"Got shot in my knee back in the day, I can't stand long, had to sit down during the worship. You guys sounded great though. I loved it."

After church Tom asked our bass player if he'd like to have his old bass that he used to play. Little did Tom know, our bass player has been in need of a bass for over a year. So Tom went home and gave away his bass and his amp.

Tom was nuts, but Tom was awesome. People are straight up crazy sometimes, but they make my world go round.

just say hello

2010-12-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

“You’re a lucky guy—reading, getting an education.”

I look up from just opening my book to find an older man sitting down next to me in the coffeeshop.

Nels was his name, a once retired architecture professor, who was asked to come back and teach one last class at U of I. The 65 year old man (I’m guessing) loved skiing the entire last half of the winter in Utah with his son, coffee and bagels, and getting the chance to meet college students on campus. He asked me what I was studying in school. I told him I already majored in structural engineering and actually really loved architecture as well. We talked about the creativity and ingenuity it took to design something like the building we were currently sitting and drinking coffee in.

Nels was a pretty cool old dude, I’m not going to lie. He asked me what I was doing now and I said I was on staff with a local Christian church. I asked if he had any church background, in which he said I guess you could say so. His father was the pastor of a church growing up, a legalistic man who tried to push religion hard on Nels, so much so that it pushed Nels out of the church and into atheism. I told him I had a somewhat similar story, where the legalism and following of rules became my religion. Where is the passion in merely following rules? Where is the love in just avoiding things you can’t do?

I told him it wasn’t until college when I actually chose to passionately follow Jesus, when it became about chasing after him and not approval, that I broke through and realized there was a beautiful life waiting for me, there was a Savior waiting for a relationship and friendship with me. I was so desperate and thirsty for it and didn’t even know it.

When I was telling Nels my story he grew quiet and looked away, telling me with his body language “come on man”. But I didn’t care. Nels I just met you and love you but give me a chance please, just give Jesus a chance. I’m sorry your dad was punk and sucked the joy out of life by forcing you to believe. That isn’t the way it was intended to be. Nels, you’re missing out on a really beautiful thing. Yeah I bet skiing for 4 months is fun but does it fill the hole in your heart?

Nels left and we said our goodbyes.

As I was writing this little note about my new atheist friend, a girl sat down right where Nels had just sat. All I did was said hello and asked her what final exam she was studying for and 20 minutes later Erica was telling me about how she and her husband were going to Honduras in a few months to teach at a primary school for a few years. We talked about how good God is and how captivating Jesus is. We talked about our generation being a generation that goes to the nations, a generation that sees a need and does something about it.

What a sweet morning.

I got to see both ends of the spectrum, from violet to red. I got to evangelize to one and talk about the compelling life of Jesus with another. And all I did was said hello. It’s so simple, really. Evangelism begins with hello. There’s no complex formula or special way to share your story with someone. It can change the trajectory of your entire day, or who knows, your entire life.

Just say hello.

1 john 4:19

2010-12-04T16:05:00.000-08:00

Love.

Love is compromise.

Love is not compromise.

Love speaks up and love is silent.

Love is tried and true and transparent.

Love is peacefully patient but it also purposely pursues.

Love never presses pause, calls timeout, or says hey wait a second.

Love is crazy, it’s seriously crazy, and leaves heads scratching.

Love is impulsive, counter-intuitive, and all things healing.

Love makes you do things you have never done before.

Love makes you do things you really don’t want to do.

Love propels and compels action and service.

Love demands your entire heart.

Love is death and death is gain.

Love is life and life is Christ.

Love is beautiful.

Love.

Love is not optional, it’s not a choice. Wait, love actually is a choice, we don’t naturally exude love, we choose to love because He first loved us.

from the beginning

2010-11-18T00:37:00.000-08:00

Do you not know?

Do you not hear?

Have you not been told from the beginning?

Have you not known?

Have you not heard?

I will be there to the ends of the earth.

Lift up your eyes and see who created these

How can you then compare me

lyrics from the song i just wrote, taken from isaiah 40.

old but gold

2010-10-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

Got punched in the face today by scripture.

I sat stunned, gazing off into the distance like Mike Tyson just rang my bell. My whole life I thought I knew the gospel, I thought I had it figured out. In reality, I only knew half of it.

This video is old but it's gold. It rocked my world about a year ago (props to my bro brah brother Martin for showing it to me):

Looking past the old school suits and chalkboard circles, R.C. Sproul brings the gospel in its entirety, the whole truth that so many believers miss.

Many Christians understand that their sins are nailed to the cross, that Christ took their place on that cross so that we might be saved from condemnation and eternal torment. But this single transfer, of our sins to the body and life of Jesus, only prevents us from going to hell. This is only half of the gospel.

The second half comes in the double transfer, as Sproul states. It’s the other half of the equation: the death of Jesus erases (pun intended) our sin-filled circle and his righteousness is imputed to us.

So, the gospel can really be broken down into two parts:

Propitiation. Jesus taking our place upon the cross and dying, sacrificing, because sin must be put to death. This pardons us from God's wrath and saves us from hell.

Expiation. We are justified, made clean and righteous. Our sin is no more and the righteousness of Jesus is imputed, or transferred, to us as believers in him. This brings us into the kingdom of God, heaven.

This leads me to where my face got rocked.

I’ve read James 5:16 a hundred times before but for some reason it always felt conditional on how spiritual I was feeling that day.

The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

I always felt like the level of effectiveness of my prayers were somehow related to how well I was “performing” as a Christian at the time of my prayer. In reality though, “righteous man” is referring to anyone who believes in Jesus and has accepted his free gift of salvation. We are righteous because of the double transfer, not by anything we have ever done or ever will do. I don’t have to gain approval or reach a certain status to know my prayers have weight; I have already been made righteous.

This was mind-blowingly comforting to rediscover:

We, as believers in Christ, can confidently approach his glorious throne with prayers and know that they are powerful and effective, that they actually work. I’ve always known this in my head but not fully in my heart. After all, the same power that raised Christ from the grave is the same power that lives and works in us (Eph 1:19-20).

Thank God for the glorious inheritance that we have in Christ and the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us.

life is but a breath.

2010-10-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

10 years ago I sat in Bunk’s Medical Center on Cornwall, getting stitches for a busted up chin.

10 years ago life didn’t mean much to me, it wasn’t time well spent, it was shruggable.

Yesterday my dad sat in Bunk’s Medical Center on Cornwall, getting treated for a virus.

Then there was a commotion. There was a terrible accident, a horrific tragedy that had happened down on Cornwall, just outside the clinic.

The doctor ran, my dad ran. There was a crowd, murmuring, yelling, crying.

A little baby girl, just 2 years old, holding her mother’s hand while crossing the street, was hit by a car and had died. Right there on Cornwall.

Hearing my dad’s broken voice talk about yesterday on Cornwall was nostalgic, heart-breaking and gut-wrenching. I fought back tears. What that mother went through, having her baby girl’s life literally taken from her hand. It’s too much.

Life is way too precious to be taken lightly, much too valuable to be shrugged off.

Today I paused.

Today I wept.

Today I thanked God for breath and prayed for that mother.

Please pray for her also:

http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2010/10/01/1647259/community-rallies-around-bellingham.html

your love is better than life.

2010-09-17T12:43:00.001-07:00

Because your steadfast love is better than life my lips will praise you.

Do you really believe this? Do you really see? That my love is life. It gives you breath. You are in me, and I in you.

Give up your treasures—I am your treasure.

Give up your health—by my wounds you have been healed.

Give up the ones closest to you—I am the only one.

Give up your heart—my grace is enough.

Give up your life—you will find it in me.

Love poured from my body and it poured from my brow

Don’t you see? Look at these hands and my side

They swallowed the grave on that night

When I drank the world’s sin

So I could carry you in

And give you life

In me.

press pause.

2010-09-03T11:16:00.000-07:00

Today I spent all morning on my deck drinking coffee and eating graham crackers, reading Proverbs and dwelling on things that I don’t really know much about.

The Sabbath.

Something foreign to me prior to this year. It’s a concept that very few people understand. What I’ve learned about Sabbath is that it begins with putting your world on pause, setting aside your tasks, and allowing your heart and mind to tune in to your Creator.

A verse that describes the Sabbath is Proverbs 14:30—A heart at peace gives life to the body.

The Sabbath also means fearing the Lord God Almighty.

It’s not I hope I don’t get busted by the cops, fear. Not I hope the stock market doesn’t crash again, fear.

The fear of the Lord is an altogether different kind of fear.

Psalm 46:10 says be still and know that I am God. This is what the fear of the Lord means. It’s pressing pause, muting your distractions, and remembering that God is God and you are not.

The Sabbath goes hand in hand with the fear of God. They are about resting and remembering.

When your fear God you remember his power and mercies.

When you remember his mercies your heart receives rest.

When your heart is at rest it gives life to your body and you honor the Sabbath.

When you honor the Sabbath you honor God.

Quit moving. Quit doing. Quit stressing.

Be still. And remember that I am God.

Be still and know who I am.

he is.

2010-08-08T11:36:00.000-07:00

He is the image of the invisible.

He is the beginning and the end, the first and last, the seen and unseen.

He is the preeminent Prince of Peace.

He is the energy, life, and strength that work within.

He is the reconciliation for the recklessly hostile.

He is the undying love for the undeserving.

He is the living among the dead.

He is the crimson covering black creating white.

He is the reason, the proclamation, the mystery, and the message.

He is the hope of glory.

He is the Gospel.

colossians 1.

crash this train

2010-06-13T13:14:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I heard this song, Crash This Train, and with the raw singer’s voice and acoustic guitar I instantly loved it. I’d listen to it on repeat, never knowing that the song would soon begin to reveal a significant truth in my life.

The lyrics have political undertones that I don’t fully agree with, as the singer cries God if you can hear me crash this train, referring to the failed governmental war efforts in Iraq. As I listened to the song more my heart was torn in two, as I loved the music but began to hate the words. Who is this guy? Who does he think he is? Doesn’t he know that God he doesn’t work that way?

I woke up a few days ago with this song and a strange metaphor in my head: this idea of my life and current heart condition being like a train barreling down the tracks of self-destruction, with wheels of apathy fueled by the coals of weariness. The images continually played in my head like a bad movie I couldn’t eject. I closed my eyes and imagined myself sitting as a passenger on this train, seeing this sign above:

Destination: Despair

What? How did this happen? How did I even get here? How do I get off this forsaken vessel bound for destruction?

I get up, people all around me. How do I get off? When does this train make a stop?

It never does.

I start to freak out. I run to the back of the cab and enter the next one. More people.Will somebody please tell me how I get off this train?

Nothing but blank stares and shaking heads.I keep running. I run, through cab after cab, train car after car. More people. No answers.

Just when I think I’ve exhausted myself I reach the last car, open the door and stumble onto the deck. Iron chugs on iron and the ground shakes violently beneath me. Across the horizon I see the world of my past memories. As I stand there an overwhelming presence washes over me and I close my eyes and hang my head. I grip the handrail ever so tightly, hoping with all my might this train of my apathetic heart would crash.

I found myself lying in my bed that morning, and in that dream, asking God to do just as the chorus of that song says:

God, crash this train. Crash this train that I have so carelessly hopped aboard like an old country outlaw.

And then I realized. I have become what I rebuked. Asking God to crash my train. Who do I think I am? Don’t I know? That’s not the way it works. How he works.

The last couple of months of my life have been ridden with spiritual ruts, developed from weariness and frustration. I’ve been stuck in a funk I can’t seem to shake. Galatians 6:9 rings in my head.I just kept waiting for something to happen. Kept waiting for God to come and rescue me from myself. Kept waiting for him to airlift me from my train bound for darkness and despair.

Have you ever felt this way? Are you currently riding on such a train, which the only destination is destruction? Do you feel paralyzed, bound and destined to disappoint? Have you found yourself asking God to crash your train or airlift you to a different train, one bound for light and not darkness? Is there a sin that you can’t seem to rid yourself of, making you feel hopeless?

I think we have to flee from the mentality of asking God to come and rescue us like this, crashing our trains of sin for us. Following Christ wholeheartedly is a choice we have to make ourselves. Godliness is something we must consciously and actively pursue. Yes, Jesus has paid it all. But he’s also asked us to follow him with everything we have.The hopeful reality of this idea is that we are not stuck on our trains. There are no chains around our wrists binding us to them. Just our fingers grasping the rail, not wanting to let go.

In the end, remember and live in the truth of I Thess. 5:9.

God has not destined us for wrath or death. He has destined us for salvation through Jesus, who died so that we might live with him.

Instead of crashing my train, I think God is calling me to flee from this lifestyle, flee from this train and leap from it. God won’t crash your train, and he won’t crash mine. He wants you to jump off it like a crazy train-hopping cowboy with a death wish. Living all out for Jesus is hard, dangerous, and can hurt. Just ask the apostle Paul.

But that's exactly what God has called us to be. He wants us to be reckless. Reckless for Jesus.

So.

Will you jump with me?

resilience

2010-04-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

I am empty and dry.

I am depleted and running on fumes.

I am weary beyond belief.

I am hanging on to a hopeful thread.

My heart weighs heavily.

My eyes stare at the ground.

My feet trip on my own despair, but I don’t fall.

My soul limps forward.

For you are the blood in my veins.

You are the life in my lungs.

You are the hope in my heart.

You are my resilience and my restoration and my rest.

the sea. imagination. home.

2010-04-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

Rain drops splash against my windshield and patter on my soul.

They stream down the lenses of my glasses and the edges of my heart.

Breathing. Thinking. Walking.

The boardwalk beckoning beneath my canvas covered soles. Sailboats lazily making their way across the bay. Seagulls flying high above and ducks splashing well below. A jellyfish greets me as I am almost too busy staring, gazing over the water. Flowers beginning to find their way to the surface, crying out for the sun to show her face. Blades of bright green grass swaying with the wind. Islands, full of wilderness and adventure, lying quietly off in the distance—miles off shore, peeking through the clouds.

No words can do justice. It transcends all description and emotion. This beautiful, wonderful place.

I take a deep breath—the smell of seaweed fills my nose, life inflates my lungs that are starved for crisp, fresh oxygen. Each inhale filled with an ocean air so pure and beautiful it brings vigor to my bones.

The rain drenches me—I like it.

The clouds block out the sun—I don’t mind it.

Every wave upon the beach washes over the rocks like a wave of hope washing over my fears and shortcomings.

I close my eyes.

The gentle sea breeze graces my face and soothes my soul.

In this moment—pure joy.

Ecstasy.

What is this place? What is this raw emotion that I feel? Is this a glimpse of what heaven is like? Does this landscape that my eyes behold offer even a tiny piece of his imagination? What will it be like, meeting the creator of heaven and earth? Will I sit in awe and wonder for hours, days on end gazing at his face or out over the waters? What will the air and breeze smell like? Will each breath I take bring a smile to my face? I think yes. Very much so yes. This divine romance. These glimpses of heaven on earth. Yes creator, yes. I will praise you in the heavens forever. And I will praise you now.

What is this place?

This place is home.

This place is my home. Only for now.

missing the point

2010-04-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read a verse or passage of scripture and misinterpreted what it said? Or maybe you read something and said ok God, I think I know what this verse says, and you prayed that verse and proceeded to wait for results like God was a vending machine? Lots of people read Philippians 4:13 and then complain when they still can’t do that thing they wanted to do, and those people are missing the point. Or when Jesus said ask anything in my name and it will be given to you…why haven’t I been given what I asked for? Does his promise mean nothing?

I’m a college graduate; sometimes I think I’m pretty smart and mature. When I hear people struggling with this idea of asking and not receiving I just disregard it as childish and immature in faith—and then proceed to get slapped in the face by the realization of the exact same thing happening in my own life.

Recently, I read John 15:7, If you abide in me and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

I said ok God if I abide in you and you in me, you will give me the desires of my heart. I sat down one day and wrote in my notebook some of the things my heart desired, pouring out all the stuff I wanted and justifying it all because as a believer and collegiate minister I was “abiding” in Jesus. But what exactly does abiding in Jesus mean?

Is it reading your Bible 7 days a week and only listening to Christian music and going to church every Sunday? Does having his words abide in you mean memorizing verses for the sake of having scripture “abide” in your brain?

Sitting downtown today, over a cup of black coffee for dinner, I wondered what abiding in Jesus truly means. What I came up with isn’t deep or crazy insightful, it’s quite simple really.

Abiding in Jesus means seeking him with all of your heart.

When you take a step back to reflect and reevaluate your heart, in my case this meant a second look at my “desires” hastily written in my notebook, you might be surprised at what you find. Surprised at the selfish things you thought you needed. Surprised at how badly you have misheard Jesus, thus missing the point.

Abiding in Jesus doesn’t sound scary because it’s a pretty vague statement, to be honest. Seeking Jesus with all your heart is different though, very different. This statement is scary because it requires absolute and complete submission. It means surrendering everything—absolutely everything—money, relationships, comfort, your heart and life—all in the knowledge of a sovereign God. In the knowledge of a bigger, better story than the one we are trying to orchestrate ourselves.

The funny thing is, realizing this isn’t the hard part—it’s actually living it. Because if I have learned anything about myself through this process, it’s that my flesh absolutely hates my heart. My flesh is a rogue beast, constantly waging war against my heart, trying to pollute it with things I think I need but in reality are just selfish wants. Everything in my heart desires to seek Jesus but my flesh constantly drags it down so that I am only half-way seeking Jesus.

I think this is the beauty of my journey with Jesus—he and I both know I obviously don’t have this abiding in him thing figured out yet. But he is quick to forgive, abounding in love and grace and second chances. And I am quick to confess, willing to restart and retry.

My brothers, my friends, let us abide in Jesus, fully. Wholly. Until we really live in him, and him in us, we are missing the point. We are missing out on the relationship Jesus desires to have with us.

Live in the hope and realization of Jeremiah 29:13 where God says this:

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart.

never be the same

2010-03-09T14:34:00.000-08:00

There was this one time, let’s say, the first 21 years of my life, when I thought I knew who I was. Actually, come to think of it, I had no idea who I was. I was a just a regular college kid struggling to find myself but ended up looking for fulfillment in all the wrong places. Then one day I found out my church was going on a mission trip to Mexico. For some weird reason, I felt compelled to go. The only problem was I didn’t have the money.

I found myself saying God, I don’t even remember the last time I talked to you. I am a shameful, wretched guy. I don’t even deserve for you to listen to me. But I feel like this is the first time in my life that I have audibly heard your voice, calling me to serve your children. God I want to serve you on this trip but I can’t pay for it. Please provide a way for me to go, for I know it will change me.

A few days passed and I got an envelope in the mail.

It was a check from my grandma for the exact amount of money that the trip cost.

I called her instantly. She said that she woke up in the middle of the night thinking of me and decided to write me a check. She didn’t know how much the trip cost, she didn’t even know I was planning on going on the trip. She just wrote the check because she felt I needed it.

And did I ever need it.

I returned from Mexico with a broken heart and I’ve never been the same since. I fell in love with Jesus for the first time.

I will embark on this same trip in 3 days. I’ve talked to people who are going with me who say they are excited. But for me, this trip is extra special, emotional, and close to my heart. This marks the one year point of my newness of life.

I try to thank God daily, for Tijuana. For my grandma. For redemption, a second chance, and for his son, Jesus.

I pray that this trip will be equally glorifying to the Father. That the love of Christ would dwell in me and would be given openly and freely to a beautiful, lost people.

Jesus, thank you for capturing my heart and pulling me out of the depths. You are my world.

I will never be the same. Forever I am changed.

imago dei

2010-02-28T02:02:00.000-08:00

so there is this really awesome book in the bible called the psalms written a long time ago. It's 150 chapters long, full of some of the most inspiring and fulfilling words I've ever known. Here is a collection and compilation of numerous psalms, some of my favorites cut and pasted and pieced together, specific to a prayer in my life.

Lord, you have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. Before a word is on my tongue, behold you know it altogether.

Your voice breaks the cedars. It flashes forth flames of fire. It shakes the wilderness. It thunders over the waters. The nations rage, the kingdoms totter; you utter your voice and the earth melts.

Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

All the while you sit in the splendor of your holiness. Let the earth rejoice, let the sea roar, let the fields exult and the trees of the forest sing for joy.

In your name love and faithfulness convene; righteousness and peace meet for a kiss.

My heart earnestly seeks you.

My soul thirsts for you.

My flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.

I am fatigued with groaning, every night I flood my bed with tears.

Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness.

Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck. The flood sweeps over me. My throat is parched and my eyes have grown dim. My sides are filled with burning. I am weak and crushed and my heart throbs with tumult. My strength fails me—but for you God I wait. It is you who will answer.

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me.

Lord, such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it.

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Oh, guard my heart and soul and let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you.

You have delivered me from death, my eyes from tears, and my feet from stumbling. I will walk with integrity of heart. I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. Because your love is better than life itself, my lips will praise you.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! From age to age he is the same.

Praise be to God, from everlasting to everlasting, for he is good.

mom

2010-02-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

Because I love lists, and in honor of my amazing mom turning 50, here are 50 things I love about her.

50. She is an avid 24 fan.

49. She has a very patient, serving soul. She’s taught 1^st grade (babysat) for almost 20 years.

48. I inherited her tiny ears. But it’s cool, your ears never stop growing so in 40 years mine will be normal sized.

47. I think I may have also inherited her leadfoot.

46. She married a really handy, weird, driven, self-less man.

45. She gets unbelievably giddy and excited when my brother and I come home.

44. Her favorite Bible verse is 3 John 1:4.

43. She put up with me when I was a terrible two. And a tumultuous teen.

42. One time when I was a kid she spanked me with her bare hand, and I told her it didn’t hurt. She came back with a wooden spoon. It hurt.

41. She made me wear sports goggles when I played basketball in middle school. Hey what number are you guarding? I don’t know, it’s that dorky dude who looks like Horace Grant….

40. She didn’t let me watch ninja turtles or the Simpsons or MTV growing up because she didn’t want me to get caught up in cultural garbage. And looking back on it now, I think that’s pretty awesome.

39. She also never bought me sugared cereal or gum. Can’t a kid just get some Lucky Charms and Bubblelicious for once?? But hey guess what? No cavities!

38. She has a facebook. And uses it more than I do. She also just learned how to text.

37. She got me Muzik Ta Ride 2, the highly anticipated (by me) compilation of the 1997 best Christian rap songs.

36. She used to give me haircuts. Bowl cuts. And on my request would bleach my hair. But never crushed my ego by telling me the honest truth of how horrible it looked.

35. She plays solitaire on the computer until she wins almost every night.

34. She pretends to box and fight me and when she does she sticks her tongue out.

33. She makes a mean bowl of chili. And I’ve never tasted anyone’s soup that can match hers.

32. She went back to work to pay for my MUCH needed braces. Seriously, my life would be drastically different had I not gone through this 5 year process…think Beetlejuice…

31. She has an incredible knack for decorating.

30. She led me to Christ.

29. After not playing the piano for like 8 years she sat down and busted it. I’m kinda jealous.

28. This one time, instead of washing my mouth out with soap, she used Tabasco. Sick nasty.

27. Whenever she hugs me now, it always lasts at least 10 seconds.

26. She never bought me any Jnco or Lee Pipes jeans. Thank goodness.

25. She never hesitates to correct me on my grammar or table manners.

24. Her style is never flashy, but it’s always classy.

23. On April Fools Day in 5^th grade I bit into my sandwich at lunch only to get a mouthful of peanut butter and tin foil.

22. There are multiple pairs of her reading glasses in each room of the house.

21. She went with me on my 8^th grade trip to D.C. and made me take time away from the girl I was chasing after to actually look at and appreciate all the historical monuments and buildings.

20. She sat and watched through the rain and heat, countless hours of me playing baseball, basketball, and football.

19. Her favorite color is red. And she loves polka dots.

18. She thinks the littlest things are funny. And her laugh frequents most of our conversations.

17. She can read books crazy fast.

16. She doesn’t look a day over 40.

15. She has a hypersensitive nose and can sniff out any smell, anytime, anywhere.

14. She’s OCD about the cleanliness of the house. And she’s always appalled at my living situation at school, especially last year in the Dungeon Dump Duplex.

13. She’s always genuinely interested in my social, student, working, dating, and spiritual life.

12. She made me rock a mullet when I was a little kid. Somewhat straight on top, crazy curls in the back. Hey, it was the 80s man. Can’t argue with that.

11. She has a really fun and likeable personality which she got from her awesome parents. Love you grandma and grandpa.

10. She always watches Fox News and tells me that I need to stay more up to date on current events and politics. I have to agree.

9. She’s a coffee addict, just like me.

8. She told me for 7 years to buy jeans that actually fit and told me I looked ridiculous. I finally came around.

7. She’s lived in Bellingham all 50 years of her life.

6. She used to read me Where the Wild Things Are and The Very Hungry Caterpillar.

5. She’s somewhat of a wine connoisseur now and visited wine country in California.

4. She’s not afraid to get her hands dirty and enjoys (I think) working in the yard.

3. She tells me all the time that she’ll love me forever, unconditionally, no matter what.

2. She’s given me more than I could ever imagine or even put into words. I’m eternally thankful for everything she’s done for me.

1. She’s the best mom I could ask for. I love her immensely and wouldn’t trade her for anyone else.

psalm 9:18

2010-01-29T18:58:00.000-08:00

I have a friend named Sheila.

She is homeless. I met her a few weeks ago in the Starbucks on campus while hanging out with a good friend. She sat next to us and kept laughing, so my friend and I talked to her for some time and bought her lunch. After parting ways, we hoped to see her again.

Sure enough, the next week I saw her in the same place. I approached her and asked if I could sit and read my book and drink my coffee with her. She said yes, as she feverishly scrawled in her notebook, muttering to herself how busy she was that day. I glanced up from my book after a while and saw the word “lent” written among lots of scrambled letters and lines. I asked her if she was Catholic, or if she observed Lent. She said yes, but wouldn’t elaborate anymore on it. This prompted a loose ended conversation about church, God, and grace. At that time I had to leave but asked if I could meet up with her later in the week, in which she obliged.

This morning my friend and I met up with Sheila. When we had just settled at our table three policemen came and arrested and practically dragged her away right in front of our eyes. I felt like a piece of my heart had just been dragged away with her, and I was at a loss for words.

I’m hoping that I can speak with Sheila again soon, if at all. If I could, the following is what I would tell her or include in a letter to her:

Sheila, I’m really glad that we became friends. I have enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you more. On multiple occasions you told me you were thirsty and would love some water or juice. But I want to tell you about a certain water that never ceases to satisfy. An everlasting and quenching river that floods your heart making it so you never thirst again, if you let it. I know this seems hard to understand, living day by day barely getting by, wondering how and when and where your next drink or meal might be. But trust me when I say, there is hope in this water that I speak of. And though you feel broken and weary there is someone who can travel on your journey with you and bear the burdens of your body and your life. Someone who can clothe you and embrace you. Someone who sheds light in the dark and damp and cold places in this world. Someone who gives hope to the hopeless, peace to the restless, and everything to those who have nothing.

Sheila that water, that friend, that someone is Jesus. Through our often sporadic and confusing conversations you mentioned you know who Jesus is, but you don’t think much of him. I want to tell you just how special this Jesus guy really is. In the Bible it says “the needy shall not always be forgotten, and the hope of the poor shall not perish forever.” Do you know what this statement means? It means even though this life hurts at times, though you feel forgotten by the people around you, you are not forgotten or marginalized in the eyes of your Heavenly Father, and He desires that you spend eternity in heaven with Him when this life is over. God’s only Son, Jesus, sacrificed his own life as a ransom for you and me, so that we might live in the hope of his victory over death and suffering. If you believe this to be true and surrender your life to him, I promise you, your heart and soul will never thirst again.

your friend,

jacob

29 things I learned from 2009

2010-01-07T23:56:00.000-08:00

1. Kids are awesome.

I had a chance to work at a kid’s summer camp for a couple weeks and I had a blast. A few weeks ago I was playing this sweet game called Rhino Rampage with a certain four year old little guy, and thinking to myself “why did I used to be so lame and not spend more time with these amazing little people?”

2. This generation has it easy.

Myself included. Every generation before us had it harder than we do. I’m scared for our future as a nation, as a culture.

3. Older people have a lot of good things to say.

I don’t know when it happened. But now all of a sudden my parents and other people their age aren’t lame like I thought they used to be. In fact, I try to ask them as many questions I as I can now because I know they are a lot wiser than me.

4. Much older people are awesome and they make me laugh.

And strangely my style is gravitating towards theirs. The other day I was sipping coffee wearing boat shoes and a cardigan and my brother said “dude you’re such an old man!” I took it as a compliment.

5. The economy has a way of jacking up a lot of your plans.

Or maybe the market crash was God’s way of getting me to realize that life wasn’t about money and cars and prestige. College graduation hit me like a ton of bricks and suddenly, I found myself as an unemployed, annoyed engineer. I didn’t wallow in self-pity too long, thankfully, and instead decided to swallow my pride and use my hands to make a little cash. Which leads me to…

6. Manual labor really sucks.

I’m sorry if that offends you. But there are just no other words I could think of to describe it. I found this out the hard way. Following graduation, I needed money and I needed it fast. I found myself mowing 10” tall grass, weed whacking, and wheelbarrowing gravel in the heat of the summer. And the worst of all, working on a raspberry farm. It was miserable. I’m pretty sure the thrashing of my body took years off my life. But the summer ended and I packed up my stuff and headed back to a little town called Pullman, to work as a collegiate ministry intern with Resonate Church. I quickly learned that…

7. It takes a LOT of things for a church to run smoothly and successfully.

I have also learned how critical and valuable communication is. I had no idea the extent of what goes on behind the scenes in running a church. It’s mind boggling.

8. I kinda really love Hispanic culture and people.

If I could do a mission trip to a place that spoke Spanish every month, I would. I loved Chile back in ’04. And last March the people of Tijuana captured my heart.

9. Utah has incredible landscape.

While road tripping to New Mexico, I remember saying ‘wooooow’ at least 43 times, with my face pasted against the window looking out. (Sorry Kate-Lynne, I’m sure you were annoyed!)

10. Moscow, ID is a sweet place.

Sorry Pullman, I have spent the last 4 years with you and our relationship isn’t going anywhere. Moscow just has so much more to offer. (Mainly just good coffeeshops, but hey that has to count for something). Which leads me to…

11. Coffee dictates my daily routine.

Didn’t think I’d ever get to this point. But here I am. If you’re around me more than an hour or so, you’ll hear me say “I need some java in my life right now”, or “man I could really use a cup of joseph”. Don’t judge. Coffee is good for you. There’s been medical studies.

12. I don’t really have any idea where I will end up, but I do know that I need trees and water nearby.

Seattle? Auckland? Portland? Lahaina? Bellingham? Santiago? Couer D’ Alene? All great choices. Not to mention I have an unstamped passport. I desire this to change soon.

13. Reading books is actually quite enjoyable.

I didn’t read one book in high school. Sparknotes.com was my best friend. I remember having to give an oral book report once. I chose Jurassic Park. The teacher told me to give 5 differences between the book and the movie. Dang it I knew he was gonna ask that!! College life wasn’t much different, as I found myself engulfed in numerous calculations and projects and never felt the urge to open a book for pleasure. But post-college life has found me reading for this very purpose, and I’m enjoying it quite a bit.

14. Blogging and writing are also quite nice.

It helps organize my thoughts on a page and forces me to take time to think about the finer things in life.

15. Every person has a story, and that story fascinates me.

I have started to really see a growth of love in my life for people. It usually doesn’t matter who it is or where I am. People’s jobs and lives interest me. I got an eye exam yesterday and I asked the doctor why and how she became an optometrist. And also the purpose behind the annoying “puff of air” test. Who does that? Haha.

16. High school friends will always have a special place in my heart.

No matter how many years go by, I don’t think I’ll ever forget that close group of people that shaped me into who I am now.

17. Eating nothing but junk food and not working out for months on end wreaks havoc on my body.

Possibly a new year’s resolution…?

18. WSU football continued it’s legacy as the doormat of the PAC-10 and the NCAA.

Sorry Cougs. You know my loyalty will forever be with you. But come on! Three wins in two years? I’ve said “we’re rebuilding” enough already…

19. Also, the Seahawks let me down again, I still hate the Yankees, and I miss the Sonics.

20. Fishing is only fun if you actually catch fish. Especially if it’s raining.

21. Zing, a flavor of 5 Gum, tastes pretty good at first but turns to mush after precisely 26 minutes of chewing.

22. I am still really bad at video games.

Seriously. When I was a kid I was always last, always the worst. Not much has changed. But tell me who doesn’t love Mario Kart marathons??

23. 400hp feels really, really, good.

Don’t worry I’m not buying an M5 anytime soon; I have enough tickets as it is.

24. Baptisms are unbelievably beautiful.

Leaving our service this fall my eyes were very drained but my heart was very full.

25. Cannon Beach is a surreal getaway.

Went here for a weekend retreat. Loved it. I recommend it highly.

26. Mustaches and tuxedo tees continue to make me laugh and say to myself “come on dude”. Thanks josh.

27. My family is truly blessed.

Thank you God for my family and for your provision and for your constant reminders that I am nothing without you.

28. How amazing Resonate has been and continues to be.

This last year has been challenging and at times frustrating. But altogether so very fulfilling. The staff is incredible, it is truly a joy to serve, play, and hang out with them.

29. No matter how many times I mess up, there is an undying love to save and sustain me. Love blankets all. It covers over a multitude of sins. It always protects, always trusts, always perseveres. It never fails.

heroes

2010-01-03T00:17:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was a boy I’ve dreamed of being a hero.

When I was 7 I hit a home run, to centerfield, in the Kingdome, to win the World Series.

When I was 11 I tackled and nullified an intruder, saving my family while they slept.

When I was 14 I pushed this girl out of the way so she wouldn’t get hit by an oncoming car but subsequently got myself hit. With tears in her eyes she kissed my cheek, as I lay in my hospital bed. She sat waiting, wondering, praying, as my life hung in the balance.

When I was 18, and perhaps this is the most memorable and reoccurring dream to date, I dreamt of being a war hero.

I don’t know what it is. I think there is this weird natural instinct inside the heart of every guy that makes them want to go through hell and back, to experience and outlast pain and struggle, for the sake of

-honor-respect-nobility-dignity-prestige-pride

And ultimately, glory and victory.

It’s why I dream of sacrificing my body or my life to save someone else’s.

It’s why I think I, along with a lot of other guys, loved playing football so much. It was the cuts and scrapes and bruises. The adrenaline and blood and sweat. As you walked off the field, defeat or victory, in your heart you felt like a warrior. You just got the crap beat out of you. But it felt good. As you limped and hobbled off the field, you felt tough. Rugged. Like a soldier who just finished capturing an enemy base. Limping and hobbling back to camp, sustaining gunshot wounds.

I’m not going to sit here and try to make football sound synonymous with war, because it is beyond compare. I’m also not going to say anything like “man I wish I could have experienced and survived combat” so I could have some good stories to tell. War is absolutely traumatic and miserable. No one should have to go through it. But I do think there is a special outlook on life that I will never have. A gratitude and gratefulness that I will never know.

Can you even imagine it? Can you imagine being on the front lines of war? The thought makes me cringe. Imagine spending years overseas, never seeing home. Imagine waking up every day wondering if it was your last. Imagine laying in your bed 50 years later, the same gruesome and disgusting images from combat playing in your head as you try to sleep.

I think the men who have seen war, have seen their friends go down, been shot down themselves, and spilled their blood for their brothers and sisters on the battlefield, have an appreciation for life completely unmatched by those who haven’t done the same. I desire that same appreciation. To view life that preciously and to know first-hand how quickly it can be taken away.

This is why I am absolutely fascinated and intrigued by war movies. It’s why I love hearing from men who have experienced warfare. The lines on their faces and their scars tell unique stories of inspiration.

It’s why I love John 15:13, greater love has no one than this, that someone would lay down his life for his brothers.

I admire these men to the greatest extent and respect these heroes to the uttermost.

My whole life I’ve dreamt of heroics for the wrong reasons. Being a hero means being a living sacrifice. A hero doesn’t do something to gain honor or respect or prestige, but instead, a hero is defined by their tremendous love for life and for people. Heroics are defined as giving up one’s entire life out of love for another. And what I think makes a true hero is the self-less act of admitting that you are in fact no hero at all.

Major Winters, the man who led an elite paratrooping company through WWII and captured Hitler’s Eagle’s Nest, when asked by his grandson if he was a hero in the war, said this:

No, I’m not a hero….but I served in a company of heroes.

If you haven’t had a chance to watch Band of Brothers, I suggest that you do. If you are like me at all, and have the time, you’ll sit down and watch all 10 hours in one sitting. It’s that good. And it will leave you with complete awe and appreciation for the men who gave up their lives out of love, for a cause.

stuck between sleep and awake

2009-12-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have written, let alone sat down to think about anything of significance.

What can I say? The last few months have found me busier than ever. And really the only reason why I have chosen to write now is because I had this weird dream last night.

I woke up in the middle of the night, thinking about

love.

For some reason, when I was stuck between sleep and awake, I kept asking myself, “what does love mean? What is love?” my mind kept going back to love is patient, love is kind….

Love has a thousand definitions. It has no bounds. Love is thoughts and words, but more than anything love is action. Love requires you not just to say, but to do.

I like to think I’m a man of love, of action. But I’m clearly not, yet. I know a man who is though, and that man is my father. This past week I’ve witnessed his incredible love for people. It was simple, yet so moving in my mind. And it wasn’t necessarily the act of love itself, but how naturally and effortlessly it came for him.

Yesterday, we were sitting in the living room. The elderly neighbor across the street came outside with a ladder, to take the Christmas lights down. “Clayton’s not getting on that ladder” my dad said as he rushed out the door to help him. I was dumbfounded, as I knew in my heart my initial reaction was “ah it’s kinda cold out... he should have his kids do that for him…”

We were also in the dollar store before Christmas buying some white elephant gifts. An irate lady was yelling at the cashier, demanding a refund for stuff she had purchased, but for whatever reason wouldn’t get reimbursed. The cashier was a tiny, older lady who didn’t understand English very well. You could see her frustration and agony as she was verbally attacked and beat down. Tears cascaded down her face. My dad walked up to the yelling customer, gave her money for what the store “owed” her, and told her “merry Christmas”. She stormed out of the store and muttered a few last words, still not fully satisfied. The cashier was eternally grateful and said thank you in broken, choked-up English as my dad hugged her.

Thanks dad. You inspire me to love. You open my eyes to what love is supposed to look like. You encourage me to honor our Heavenly Father.

Jesus didn’t come here and tell us to sit around and talk about love, to overanalyze it to the last detail or definition. He wanted us to love by acting, by living missionally, by doing little things, big things, anything that would glorify the Father and make Him smile.

I once heard a quote that has changed the way I view love and the message that Jesus brought to this world. It said this:

Preach the gospel at all times—if necessary use words.

weekend road trip

2009-11-19T22:23:00.000-08:00

it is finally time for the much needed and anticipated Thanksgiving break. Heading out before the sun rises on a little weekend adventure.

heading here first

then here

then back to here

then here

last and certainly not least

home

red letters

2009-11-14T13:48:00.001-08:00

Some days I wake up and crave a cup of fresh coffee.

Some days I wake up and crave an extra hour of sleep.

And some days I wake up and crave to read the red letters.

The words of the wisest, most influential individual in history, speaking directly to me. To my heart. To my struggles. To my worries.

The one and only.

Jesus.

The Son of God. The Ultimate Sacrifice. The Majestic Victory.

The greatest love story in history.

Frequently, I’ll be struggling with something in my life and open my Bible, and the first passage I flip to will talk about specifically what I’m dealing with.

This morning I was stressed about life and my finances.

Flipped to Luke 12.

²⁹And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, norbe worried. ³⁰Forall the nations of the world seek after these things and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹Instead,seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

³² Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. ³³ Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. ³⁴ For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

Seek first the kingdom.

Nothing else matters. This world is filled with empty fame and empty claims. We all labor in vain. We work towards our goals and chase after treasures that won't last.

Your Father knows that you have desires and needs.

Seek first the kingdom.

He will take heed and give you what you need.

my resonate story thus far

2009-11-12T14:15:00.000-08:00

I can safely say that I am miles from where I was one year ago. As a 22 year old college graduate, as a man, and as a follower of Christ Jesus. My heart has been completely transformed. I feel like my eyes have been opened for the first time, and this new life has just been revealed to me. My old desires and dreams have been replaced with new, divinely given ones.

I feel like growing up in a believing family, going to church and youth group every week, and going to a Christian school for 8 years developed this weird Christian complacency in my life. As a believer I was completely satisfied in who I was. This further developed into a rebellious and punkish teen life, spilling over into the first couple of years at WSU. I reached a breaking point my senior year of college. I was so tired of running and hiding from God. I finally got down on my knees and asked Him to break me. This was a dangerous prayer because He answered it. The image that comes to my mind is God taking a hammer to my hard heart and shattering it; then using Resonate to mend it back together.

I started coming to Resonate a year ago. It was like a breath of fresh air, and totally revolutionized the way I viewed church. It seemed like the more I got involved with Resonate the more I wanted to pursue Jesus. The passion to serve Christ and to actually live missionally and selflessly was incredibly significant in my transformation. Another thing I loved about Resonate was just the shear openness and honesty. For me this meant realizing that it’s ok to not be ok; we all have issues. We all struggle. And we all hurt. Embracing this idea together, through village and ethos, proved to be very influential for me. The community that I experienced was so amazing that I wanted to continue to be involved with Resonate for another year. I was tired of being this passive follower of Christ, and witnessing the same all around me. I decided I wanted to take the lead and intern with Resonate this year. I never would have imagined that I would be working for a church, leading people through the Bible, or discipling and challenging young adults. But here I am. It just goes to show that God can use anybody for His Kingdom.

sunrise

2009-11-09T17:40:00.000-08:00

This weekend Resonate went on a weekend conference retreat to Wildhorse Canyon in Antelope, OR. I was looking forward to some R&R but I ended up being surprisingly busy. I love being around and with people. But by Saturday night I was starving for some alone time for the sake of just being alone and to talk with God.

So I decided to go on a hike early Sunday morning to catch the sunrise. It was surreal to say the least.

As my legs and lungs burned I couldn’t help but get really excited for what my eyes were about to behold. Once my huffing and puffing and dizziness subsided I sat down. And as I sat on top of the hill (or mountain if you’re from Texas) overlooking the sleeping canyon and the morning mist, I didn’t really have an agenda or topic of discussion for my King. I just sat there. For an hour. Soaking it all in. Reminding me how brilliant and beautiful our Creator is.